Full Circle [bis]

Yes, full circle. A breaking down cycle has come to an end, what needed to go because it belongs to the old, has been taken away. People have left my reality, events and experiences have been lived and everything has changed. It has changed so much, that the old is even closed off as a reality that I can be come back to, the doors are literally closed... no way to return.

I have changed so much, inside and outside, that my experience of reality is different from many on the planet. I have not regular job, not linked to any country, a wanderer, only having my luggage. Old friends are gone, and not many new ones have come in yet.

The abyss, the bridge, I am walking, unknowing of what any type of new future might bring. There is power in the choices of now, yet, it is in the unseen still, undiscovered as yet.

So, there is one choice remaining. After years of mind, spiritual mind, and emotional discharge, there is balance and a newness of being. In that beingness the powerpoint of here/now is paramount. Then the feeling of no-mind, non-judgment, not allowing any mind contamination from other people that still 'think' their life through, cherishing the social and spiritually social dramas, and absolutely remaining in the stillness of thought. Only being here/now and watching as things enfold.

The true reality, that really belongs to 'who I am' will come from within the stillness, not from the thoughtful chosen ideas. It is now that the clarity of beingness, without the clutter of mind, emotion and disbalance, will appear and show 'who I am'... and it might surprise me what I will see in my new-created reality....I will keep you up to date...

At this moment, it is processing the emptiness, the no-mind, the letting go of still some thinking attributes and some emotional luggage, the last remainders... and then settling, without anyone having to agree outside myself, for the true 'things', people, events and experiences that belong to this energy that I am.

Home ? Not 'out there' at all

After journeying in the spiritual world, the communities of spiritual people and reading all the spiritual works... I find now the time to land again with me, not with the words and scriptures of others, be them 'holy' or 'earthly', be them angelic, methaphysical, scientific, or just beyond mental comprehension.

The force of LIFE is everpresent, wherever I went, with whom I connected, encountering the greatest teachers, the worst enemies, and the most beautiful friends, I always ended up with myself.

There is something about the spiritual community on earth, it is quite .... removed from here/now... it is quite unhappy with the earth here/now... and it seeks enlightenment with others, out there... somewhere... in the dim lights of the mists, where it has no ground to land upon and ... the spiritual world remains where it is ... ungrounded... and no real coming home has been discovered in the fields of mystery, of enlightenment, of magical teachers and words from 'beyond'... not really.

They were all POINTERS, indications but none of them presented TRUTH of being here/now... YOU always remain ONLY with yourself, as the teachers, friends and enemies come and go.

There - where you are [I found] - is where the home is, there is no other place...With you is where the power of LIFE is, there is really no other power, and it is never with someone else MORE than with you, for you. Everyone has his own chosen universe, expressed or not here on earth.

HOME is ESPECIALLY not in the human spiritual world, where you are tempted to be drawn into as if TRUTH is only there... The only result of the spiritual world is to be only half here and only half there... until you choose to cross over to the spiritual realm... but I am not entirely sure that we are meant to be there - gone - with the thinking that HERE is not good enough, or expanded enough, or exciting enough....

So, after deep diving within realms that have had no real answers [and dim guesses, pointers, mystery], although almost only more QUESTIONS, I return just home, with me. It is all there is for me, there is my home... and at this point of my consciousness, it is here on earth, and from there I go anywhere and I return to who I truly am : a life force here/now, for the sake of LIFE, in honor of all-that-is, outdone of any complex ideas, labouring, and trouble. Simply.

Time to find a real house now, after travelling 3 years, homeless and like a troubled wanderer.